Clothes go flying and legs entangle. Your private parts say hello to his. And this feels pretty good, until. Oh no. Really? Already?

OK, well, that can happen to anyone. Especially the first time. You two just have to find your rhythm, that's all. So you keep having sex. And it's ok. I mean, it's good and all. But sure ain't curling your toes. He seems to like it but you? Well... what if you two can never find your rhythm?

What do you do when your man consistently reaches climax without you?

Take my friend Annie. She was telling me a story about her old boyfriend

"We were having sex when his best friend stopped by unexpectedly, stopping us mid act. Later that night, my boyfriend said to me that we never finished up, meaning he never came earlier, and I said, 'well, if that's what you call finishing up, then as far as I'm concerned, we've NEVER finished up!'"

OUCH!

OK. Maybe that's an exaggeration. Say you do have some nice oh oh OOOH's with your man. They're just very few and very far between. But if you find yourself constantly getting the short end of his stick, well, honey, things have GOT to change.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "But he's sooooooo nice in other ways. Maybe I can live without it." Or, "I'll just dump his sorry butt on the street and let find me someone who knows how to make my kitty purr tonight!"

Whoa, darling! You don't have to make drastic moves on either side of the spectrum. Not just yet. If you really care about this guy and the only thing that's standing in your way of a happy ending is a Happy Ending, then here are few tips that will give your sex life with your would be Romeo a fighting chance.

Let's Talk It Out

That's right. You're gonna have to talk about it, lady. Do you think you're sleeping with a sex psychic? Because if you were, you wouldn't be reading this article, hello! He may or may not know that there is a problem. He is, after all, a guy. If you're not telling him, he may not be clued in. And heaven forbid you're pulling the "When Harry Met Sally" fake it orgasm. STOP IT RIGHT NOW. That helps NO ONE.

The best thing to do is have a very kind, very honest conversation. The trick is to discuss your sex life without it reflecting poorly on you or giving him performance anxiety. Scary but very doable if you follow my lead. And I've talked to plenty of guy friends that have backed me up on this approach, so I'm not leading you astray.

First off, you want to pick your timing. Right before he's entering you is not the time to sit up and say, "You know, Greg, not once have I had an orgasm with you. See if you can do better this time." Can you say immediate deflation of his... uh, ego and other body parts? How can anybody try to perform after that?

The best time to bring up the conversation is after the deed is already done. A post-coital conversation, if you will.

But tact is everything. No one wants to be told what they're "doing wrong". If you start off any conversation by telling someone what you don't like, you're going to put that person on the defensive. Now times that by about a million and you'll get what it's like for a man to hear from his lady that she's not happy in the sack. So be gentle with that delicate ego of his.

Start Off With Something Positive

You can say, "You know Jason, I love it when you were (fill in your blank here) to me. That felt so amazing. And you know what would be even more amazing? I'd love it if you would (fill in your blank here) to me too! That would really rock my world!"

This is a great way of opening the door for a frank discussion about your sex life. You can ask him if there is anything he like you to do and you can let him know what works for you too. But you've got to know communication is key. If you are routinely not reaching climax in bed, chances are your man is in the dark about it and needs you to shed some light on your needs.

(But keep in mind, if he DOES know you're not getting much out of your sex life and hasn't done anything about it, then you may need another man who isn't so selfish!)

OK. So, you've opened the door to the fact that Houston, we have a problem. Now what? Don't worry, there are options.

Ladies First

For a lot of women, the problem lies in what leads up to actual penetration, or the fact that NOTHING leads up to penetration. "Wham Bam, Thank you Ma'am" are lyrics to an old David Bowie song, not a mantra for good sex.

Have your man start with you before anything else. You are allowed to be selfish in bed and have your guy perform oral sex on you until you reach climax and THEN move on to actual penetration. (Or just before, if that's what floats your boat.) See, the plus sides are, you get your needs met and then have a much more enjoyable sexual experience with him AND he gets the satisfaction of pleasing you and working himself into a frenzy with desire!

It's a Win/Win situation!

And forget about the whole "Oh baby, I'll take care of you afterwards, I promise" load of crap he may hand you. He may have good intentions, but come on! How much energy is he REALLY going to have after he climaxes? And do you really want to have sloppy seconds at that point?

NO! Get him while he's ready, willing and able. You deserve it!

Where's the Fire?

Now, you may not be the chickie that really wants oral sex all the time, or your boyfriend had his tongue ripped out in some terrible freak motor cross accident (hey, it could happen!). Bottom line; you need other options.

Let Your Fingers Do the Talking

Or his for that matter! But while you the two of you are having sex, don't be shy about stimulating yourself with your fingers for added pleasure! Or think about adding a little toy, like a vibrator, to enhance your experience. You may feel self-conscious at first, but once you let go and enjoy the multiple sensations, you might even enjoy some multiple orgasms!

Condomania

Are you two using condoms? Because besides keeping away sexually transmitted disease and a great source of birth control, a condom also acts a desensitizer. That means your guy should be able to last longer, if he's been, shall we say, racing to the finish line? There are also condoms that have a desensitizing cream in them to help slow him down.

The Coffee Break

You two can always take a little breather. If your man is really close to climaxing, practice with him pulling out and maybe playing with you for a while. That way, you can catch up to his level of excitement and the two of you are back on the same footing.

And Speaking of Breathing

You can help yourself by practicing your deep breathing and those goofy old Kegel exercises. You may remember them. It's the muscle you use to hold your pee. If you stop and start your stream of urine, that is exercising your Kegel muscle. Practice squeezing that muscle while having sex and see if you don't get a little more of a thrill!

The Couple That Exercises Together...

Sexercises together! Your man can improve his stamina by working out. So why not make it a couples thing? You'll also let out some really happy, sex starved endorphins to boot!

Now, one last thing before you go tear off your man's clothes, you frisky, little kitty cat! There are a couple of things you need to remember. The two of you have to have patience. Rome wasn't built in a day and neither was the perfect orgasm. Well, you get what I mean. Our minds can put sooooooo much pressure on ourselves to climax, that the more we want to, the less of a chance it's going to happen!

Let go and breathe, baby! Just think about how good it feels and allow yourself to feel that wonderful pleasure your man is giving you.

And keep in mind that you guys are having fun and are having an adventure together. You're not curing cancer or solving the problems in the Middle East. Hopefully, you're solving the problems down SOUTH!

Which leads me to my other rule of thumb. Whatever you do, don't lose your sense of humor!!! It's OK to be goofy and awkward in bed. And not only is it OK, but it's actually encouraged to laugh in bed. Just don't laugh AT each other. Laugh with each other!

So what are you doing here still? Go make out! I can't do it all for ya! And remember, practice makes perfect, so practice, practice, practice!!!

And one more thing - If you find yourself having more problems communicating with your man, or find that your problems are not just in the bedroom, you may want to take a peak at my friend Christian's website and sign up for his free newsletter. He's great at giving the guy's perspective and giving you secret tips on how to really get what you want! Click here to check it out!

Wow!

After a good laugh, we "discussed" the do's and don't of the giving some loving to the male organ. I felt some sort of weird "Fast Times at Ridgemont High" deja vu with Jennifer Jason Leigh and a carrot. Then it dawned on me. There are probably plenty of ladies out there that are just kind of flying blindly when it comes to giving oral sex and plenty of guys who don't tell them because they're just so happy to be getting any at all!

So, we talked to some of our male counterparts and fellow ladies who are confident in their giving ways to see what you need to know... but weren't even aware that you should!

Enjoy what you're doing
This is your chance to give pleasure to your man. Be enthusiastic about it! It's time you let that inner sex kitten out and play. Be powerful, strong, and sexy. Look at him while you're pleasuring him, enjoy the fact that right at this moment, he'd hand over the keys to the castle. This is a powerful act for a woman and the time when a man is at his most vulnerable. Savor it.

It's Time to Tease
Where's the fire, Lady? Don't try to rush through a BJ by simply going up and down on you man with your mouth. Tease that little bad boy. Make him beg for it. Take that tongue of yours and tickle the top of his penis. Slowly, take your tongue down his shaft and caress the top of his penis at the same time. Mix it up! Make him squirm, that naughty boy!

The wetter, the better
Guys agree. The more saliva you use, the more enjoyable. Try and keep him very wet and moist from the tip on down. This is not the time to act like Bree on "Desperate Housewives" and be anally neat. Get messy. Remember, you are simulating a very warm moist place...

Use a lubricant if you need to. Hell, have some fun with some food a la "9 1/2 Weeks"! Bring out some whipped cream or something else you'd like to lick off. Just be carful with honey - it gets verrrry sticky and it's a bitch to clean up, so I've been told>

Lend a helping hand
Or two. Don't be afraid to use your hands, especially if you don't have a Linda Lovelace throat. Your hand could be a nice continuation of your mouth. Even feel free to add a gentle twist of the wrist to add to the pleasure.

Be ballsy
The testicles are your friends, ladies. Treat them as such. Greet them warmly. The number one complaint we heard from men is that their female counterparts would forget that they are a package deal. Three's Company.

Remember what you're handling
There's a fine line between being firm and strangulation. Be mindful of the amount of pressure you're using. Try and think of what you would like, were the tables turned. You're not strangling a dead chicken.

Don't be afraid to ask for comments
Don't just hope for the best. If your man doesn't seem to be over the moon, (what, is he in a coma?) then feel free to ask him if there is anything that you could improve on. The whole idea is to give pleasure, as I'm SURE he will be doing in return. Communication can only make it better.

Whatever you decide is the "Happy Ending," know your man
Not to blow the mood, bad pun intended, but you still have to be responsible with your health. There is a reason prostitutes use condoms for oral sex. If your man hasn't been tested, you can be playing BJ Roulette. Think before you drink.

And if you're confident with your skill IN the sack, but not so confident with your skills OUT, check out CatchHimandKeepHim.com for great pointers to keep a great guy around!

New Year's Resolution
New pair of pants
Just out of a relationship
Bikini time
Getting rid of baby fat
Going on vacation
None of my clothes fit
My friend told me about a new diet
I just caught a glimpse of me in the mirror naked
The holidays are coming up
New year's Resolution (again)

That's right. These are just a few of the old standards that motivate us to get our little butts off the couch, step away from the potato chips, and exercise.

But I've got a better reason than all of those combined.

Exercise will make drastic improvements in your sex life!

Got your attention?

Yeah, I thought so, you naughty little girl!

We all need a little inspiration to get in good shape, so I thought I'd ask our exercise expert, or make that our "Sexercise Sexpert", Dan, to give me a program designed with sex in mind. Not only is Dan a certified physical trainer in Santa Barbara, California, but one dreamy bit of inspiration in his own right! So if he tells me how to improve my sex life, I'll assume the position! And if you know what's good for you, you will too!

#1 - "The Must Thrust"

A must for all of us. This will not only keep that little butt of yours nice and tight, but it will also keep you thrusting up and down whether you're lying down, standing up, in a sitting position, bending over... Well, you get the point.

Dan had me lie down, with my arms at my sides and my knees bent (I liked it already!) with my feet together, I pushed my hips up in the air, toward my imaginary lover...mmm, so good.

Dan reminded me the trick to this move was to not use my abs, but concentrate on just using my butt muscles, and no cheating by using any arms!

The cherry on top was to really squeeze your butt hard when you stop at the top and hold it for a second. (I would just say "You Bad Boy!" in my head as I squeezed, and the second was over!)

I did what my master Dan told me, 3 sets of 20 "Bad Boys", (ideally 3 or 4 times a week). I definitely felt a burn but Dan reminded me, the more I work out, the more I can work IT later. OK. I'm game. What's next?

#2 - Girlie on Top Hips

This is a great exercise for when you want to ride your man like a stallion, not like some plastic merry-go-round pony! It works your lower abs and your hips so you can work that bad boy under you for a hell of a lot longer.

I was back on my back, lying down with my hands to my sides. This time, my legs were fully extended. He had me raise one straight leg at a time, slowly to a 45-90 degree angle. Then down again, nice and slow.

He reminded me to keep my tummy nice and tight and told me not to arch my back. I guess I'd have to save THAT move for the bedroom.

It was the same deal, 3 sets of 20, 3 to 4 times a week, but Dan told me, as I got stronger, I could graduate up to using both legs at the same time. I liked the sound of that!

(Bonus - This exercise compliments our favorite position of the week! Click HERE to find out what that is!)

#3 - The Gyrating Cyclist

OK, Mr. Sexpert must like me on my back, because there I was again. Knees bent and fingers interlaced behind my head. This was getting kinky.

Not so fast. He had my body twist so my right elbow met my left knee, while my right leg was extended straight, but NEVER touching the ground, then switching. Left elbow to right knee with left leg extended with a light crunch in between. I did 30 of these, 15 on each side, in a steady, rhythmic fashion.

Dan assured me that this would improve not just my up, down, but my ALLLLLL around movement of my hips, so I could stir up my man and myself into a frenzy! Again, He recommended 3-4 times a week, but the more I could do, the more I could do it!

#4 - The Heart Muscle's Connected to the Sex Bone

Cardio is key to any workout, sure. But when put in the context that it would help me last longer in bed, well, who am I to argue with that type of logic? (You may want to remind your man of that to, hint, hint!)

Dan said the elliptical trainer at the gym is great for this. Not only does it get your heart rate going, but also it's working all the muscles you're working during sex.

If you don't go to a gym, run, get on a bike, swim. Anything that gets your heart pumping like you'd like to pumped later!

But don't think about cheating! Dan told me that if I could carry on a normal conversation, then I wasn't working hard enough. So of course, I had to ask him how hard is hard? He said that you should basically be breathing every third word.

Hear that, Ladies? We need to practice our heavy breathing!

#5 - Advancy Pants

Dan gave me a few advanced moves for you little nymphets out there. He said I should have some balls between my legs (I swear! I can't make this stuff up!)

If you find the Must Thrust too easy, put a basketball between your knees and squeeze that puppy like there's no tomorrow. Likewise with Girlie on Top Hips, you can hold a basketball with your ankles and then bring your legs up and scream, "Who's your daddy!" at the top of your lungs. (Well, maybe that part's optional.)

I left Dan like I had been ridden hard. But I must confess, within a couple of weeks, I was definitely riding my man with newfound stamina and strength. And all I can say is I have finally found the motivation I needed all along.

So next New Years, I guess I'll need a new resolution.

Remember, it's one thing to get your butt in shape. It's another thing to get your RELATIONSHIP in shape! So you should take look at my friend Christian's kick ass website, "Catch Him and Keep Him". He pulls no punches and lets you know exactly what's going on inside your man's head in a really entertaining way. You can check out his free newsletter by clicking HERE now!

A little feel up here, a little poke, poke there. If you're lucky (but probably not) a five second licky, licky and then it's penetration time. And (if you're honest), it's over before you can really be aroused or even too annoyed for that matter.

Yeah. I know.

Sometimes, your sex life needs a little spicing up.

So what do you do? What's the solution when you find yourself in a sexual rut and it's just not cutting it for you anymore? And your guy? Well, he just seems to be going through the motions.

Remember when you first met? When it was fun, spontaneous? When the sex was actually good?

Well, it can be again, you just have to have a little imagination and an open mind.

It might time for the two of you try a little bonding with some BONDAGE.

Before the first images of "Pulp Fiction" and that scary ass GIMP guy come to mind, listen to a few tamers aspects of this new "game" that the two of you could actually use to have fun, become closer and possibly have the best sex of your relationship!

First off, gone are the days that only dirty girls and boys could play with the idea of sexual power play. And that's what a little S & M can be! An opportunity to change the balance of power in bed, or even help let go of some hard won inhibitions.

Say you're the type of woman that enjoys sex with your man but has a hard time letting go all the time. Maybe the two of you are having sex and your mind starts to wander too much. You try to reel your thoughts back in but you can feel yourself physically detaching. You're trying really hard to have to have an orgasm but then, the moment is gone and there will be no happy ending for you tonight.

Or, what if you're the type of chick that is always in control in life, the planner, and sex is another one of those "tasks" in life you're just trying to get "right".

For women, so much of sex is actually in the mind, so if you can't let go, then you can't go OH!

But a lot of women actually get a "permission slip" to let go all the way if they are in a sexually passive role. There is something so completely freeing and passionate when you have no control over the situation. All you have to do is just let go and enjoy the ride, baby.

That can be incredibly hot!

Or if the tables are turned and your man is always the one that calls the shots, maybe you'd like to be the dominant one for a while. You're on top and your guy is under your thumb (perhaps sporting a nice, furry pair of handcuffs) and you get to be in charge of how much pleasure he gets and tease, tease, tease him until the two of you are about to explode with desire.

Can you think of a better turn-on for both of you?

But there ARE ground rules that the two of you must agree on before the fun begins.

Rule #1 - Who's Your Daddy?

Have you ever asked a partner whether or not they might be into some domination-type fun? If it's done well, you'll have a great outcome, so to speak. If you mess up the invitation, well, one word: AWKWARD!

First off, you gotta know your man. If he's super straight-laced, only missionary, only to procreate and doesn't like the oral sex thing (those guys are out there, I swear! I was with one verrrrrrrrrry briefly!), then he may not see himself as the handcuffs and riding crop type of dude.

But if you feel your man has a sense of spontaneity with a little bit of a naughty side, then hey, there's a chance that he might be open. Besides, men are very sexual creatures and if their woman wants to have sex, well, other than a pizza and the Super Bowl, what more to life is there?

You could playfully ask him what might be a fantasy that he hasn't had the chance to play out yet and then you could mention casually that you've had this "idea" of your own... Maybe a swap of secret fantasies is involved? (provided his fantasy doesn't have to do with you and a goat... unless you're into to that sort of thing, then, uh, that's a whole different conversation!)

Or maybe you rent a sexy movie like "Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down". No, it's not porn. It's foreign and it's about a hot chick whose crazy admirer ties her up, but then she falls for him! Maybe watching it together can give you a door to say, "You know, that looks kind of fun! What do you think?"

Or, you can always email him this article.... Whatever works for you!

Rule #2 - What Are The Rules?

Communicate any concerns either one of you may have first, so no one feels misunderstood later. Remember, this is meant to be fun, not some weird experience that causes an argument or makes you feel creepy afterwards.

Be clear on who has what role. Are you going to be tied up? Is he?

Once you decide who gets to be in the dominant role (the tie-er) and who gets to be in the submissive role (the tied-up-ee), then you must also decide what will be ok during this time. Is it just for foreplay? Is this for oral sex? Is this penetration? Or is open to see where is goes?

And then finally, make sure you guys have a little safety word or phrase, like "peaches" or "Dick Cheney". Whatever the hell it is, just so if one of you is no longer comfortable, your lover will know immediately and GAME OVER! (I don't know about you, but if someone screamed out "Dick Cheney", my sex fire would be out in a second!)

Rule#3 - Be Prepared

OK. So the two of you are on board. You've got a plan going. Now all you need are basic tools. You could use what you have around the house: mens' ties work well as does nylon rope. But I'd stay away from ladies' stockings, if I were you. They tend to cut off circulation and the knots are bitch to get out....uh, so I've been told. Moving on...

You can also go to any old sex toy website and every one of them has a bondage section with an overwhelming selection of restraints (see our article about sex toys to learn more). To narrow it down, I'd recommend the beginner's kit, which usually comes with four restraints (wrists and ankles), a blindfold (oh yeah!), and a little how-to manual.

You may look at the selection and find other little "accessories" you want to add, like a furry paddle, but if it gets to be too much, feel free to start off a tad tame and work your way to the wild side.

Rule #4 - Get Into Character

This is the most important. This is all about exploring fantasies, which should be fun!!!

Allow yourself to fall under your man's spell. Don't start trying to orchestrate anything if you're the submissive one. You are now in his hands. The only thing you can do is feel, and that's a great thing! With every physical restraint being put on you, it's an emotional restraint being taken off. Feel yourself getting freer and freer to feel passion the more tied up you get!

And if you're the one on top, get into it! Your man is H-E-L-P-L-E-S-S, helpless! So you lick him, stroke him, ride him, bite him gently, and then stop! Torture him, that naughty boy! Make him plead for you to let him climax. And then tell me that wasn't steaming, boiling, fire-red HOT!

A word to the wise: If you guys try it out and find you laughed more than breathed heavy, not to worry. The point is you tried something new and you are open to exploring new ways to please each other. And that's a pretty good attitude to have.

But if you found that you LOVED it, then congratulations! Another amazing trick only makes the magic show better. And I doubt your Saturdays will be that boring anymore!!!

Of course, sometimes you may find that it's not your sex life, but something else is just funky in your relationship. Don't feel bad, just get some great advice. Check out "Catch Him and Keep Him" which a great source for relationship advice. Plus it's written by a guy, so it's like having your own little spy! Click here to check out his free newsletter.

Admit it. You've heard of it. And you've THOUGHT about it. You may have even caught yourself looking at one, only to run off, red-faced. But, it's time to face your fears and take the plunge.

It's time to buy a SEX TOY.

(Cue Horror music.)

Now, wait a minute, before your mind completely shuts down to this new thought, hear me out.

There is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of.

In fact, it could actually be a great tool for you to figure out what really turns you on!

And you're not the only one! In the 1980's, the sex toy industry had a couple hundred toys available for, shall we say, public consumption? Then in the 1990's, they were selling thousands. Now, in 2006, there are literally hundreds of thousands of toys to choose from. And most of the products are for women!

That doesn't happen if there's no demand for a product.

With that modern convenience of online shopping, a couple of clicks and your new special friend will be sent to you in plain old wrapping, like it was some sort of facial product! No one's the wiser, but you!

So stop looking for lame excuses why not to buy one and let's figure out what's gonna make your kitty purr.

Vibrators
I talked to David Levine, owner of Sextoy.com, and he told me what I had suspected all along. The vibrator, not a diamond, is a girl's best friend. David said the vibrator, in ALL of its incarnations, sells like crazy. Why you ask? (Really? You have to ask?)

Well, to be perfectly blunt, any gentleman out there can act as "dildo", but no man out there can outperform a vibrator. (If you DO know of a man that can, give him my number, please!) That buzzing sensation can curl toes and help women who never have before, reach a big, oh, oh, OH! in seconds.

And vibrator shopping can be like any other kind of shopping, say shoes! There's something for everyone. You can find what's right for you. There are big vibrators, in bright colors and there some that just look like hand massagers. There are even little mini ones in the shape of a lipstick! An orgasm never looked so cute!

You can buy ones that are remote controlled, waterproof and with different speeds and oscillations. In fact, David said the "Egg"; a wireless, waterproof vibrator sells out all the time. (So that's what really going on in those long bubble baths, huh?)

The price for these new little friends can fit any lady's budget too, from a few dollars to almost ninety for all the bells and whistles.

The Rabbit
Now, the top seller is a little thing called "the Rabbit." Actually, it's not so small and I think it kind of looks like a Hello Kitty space ship. David warned me that the Rabbit was not really for first timers because it was very "intense."

Hmmm. Intriguing, no?

Apparently, and this is where I get technical, there's a penis-shaped shaft that swirls around inside you, while another part goes to town up front, with little "rabbit ears" that vibrate and tickle your clitoris. One stop shopping and all your needs met.

My friend, Jennifer graciously volunteered to be the hamster in our experiment.

(Hamster? Rabbit? What are we talking about again? Oh yeah, sex toys....)

Jennifer called me with a shit-eating grin on her face so big, I could see it through the phone. She had to agree that while the rabbit was a bit too "intense" at first (she had to move the rabbit ears off , but after some adjustment she was rocketed into the fourth dimension for one of the best Os of her life!

So, I was right about the space ship!

One word: INTENSE.

Dildos
Ok, for some, maybe for most, the rabbit could be too much of a good thing. And maybe the vibrator isn't for you. You want the feeling of having sex, hitting that G-spot. Well, then, a dildo is for you!

Getting a dildo is a great way to actually practice on your own and find out what really feels good. You can tilt your new friend up in varying degrees to find your sweet spot, which in turn can make for better sexual experiences later.

The great thing about the dildos now-a-days (not an opener you get to use all the time, hello!) is that they are more life-like. You have more colors and sizes to choose from. Some dildos can be heated up to make you experience feel more real. And the materials they use to make them feel more like flesh and less like silly putty.

Sex Toys for the Both of You
A lot of couples like to share in the fun of sex toys. Do you?

This can be a very sensitive subject for some men and for others, it's "sign me up!" Bring up the subject playfully. Maybe ask him what some of his fantasies are. Then you can tell him one of yours. Keep it light. See if he's game. I've had boyfriends of both persuasions: those who thought it would be fun and those who didn't. But the only way you'll know is if you ask.

Some guys may be into helping out with the vibrator or dildo. Some guys get REALLY turned on by watching you masturbate with a toy. David told me some guys are even relieved of the pressure to make their ladies orgasm (lazy boys!)

But some men out there are threatened by these toys, because the toys can bring their woman to climax easier, faster and sometimes more powerfully than they can. As my friend Steve said about his girlfriend's Rabbit, "It's a bone of contention." Ouch!

If that's the case, may I suggest a real up and comer (pun intended) that is fun, fun, fun for the both of you? It's called the vibrating cock ring. It's a small rubber ring you slip on your man and with every thrust, its vibrations deliver an extra thrilling sensation for you and for him! It also makes your guy's erection harder by trapping in blood flow. David tells me this is the new star of the sex toy world.

You can also go for a little old fashioned S&M. There is something very exciting about the exchange of sexual power. Discuss with your man who wants to be the dominant one, what's cool to do and what's not beforehand, then have fun!

There are great little S&M starter kits, with gentle fabric or faux fur lined restraints for wrists and ankles. Blindfolds are always nice too, heightening your senses and arousal. Think of the food scene in "9 ½ Weeks." (for more on this subject, see my article, "S&M for Beginners". Click HERE to read it>)

Of course there are plenty of other things you can try out, some tame (massage oils, dice with sexual positions on them) and then there's some really kind of gross stuff that it would just hurt to type. But my bet is that you'll find more than one thing worth buying. David told me it's rare for a customer to order less than three items, saying, "Once they're on, they just keep buying."

Happy shopping!

DANIEL CRAIG

The name's Hot. Very Hot.

Let's hear it for the new Mister 007 (and that's spelled OH! OH! 7.) Dear, dear Daniel. We're so glad you're our next James Bond. Who cares about those screaming Mimis who want a brunette? There is nothing wrong with that blond mane of yours. It makes us want to run our fingers thought your hair.

And you're not just a pretty face or a body that looks like you could swing us around like a baton. (Although, thank God for that!) No. You have talent too. We saw your acting chops in "Layer Cake". And the sexy make out scene with Sienna Miller sent us running to our cold showers.

Now let's play Little Red Riding Hood. You be the WOLF

Us: Grandma, what blue eyes you have.

Daniel: The better to see you naked with, my dear.

Us: And Grandma, what a big mouth you have.

Daniel: The better to eat you with, my dear...

Ah... we can dream, can't we?

Speaking of dreaming, if you're spending too much time dreaming of a great boyfriend (like I am apparently!) and not enough time WITH the guy of your dreams, I suggest you check out my friend Christian's website for some seriously down to earth, kick ass advice of men and relationships. It's called "Catch Him and Keep Him" and you can sign up to read his free newsletter by clicking HERE now!

Now I'm not going to throw out too many Cirque du Soleil tricks, because I want everyone to be able to have fun, but I'll keep it lively enough for you to say, "huh, that sounds good!" or even, "Hey, I forgot about that one! I should try that one again!"

Feel free to send in you favorite positions to share with us. It NEVER hurts to have options, because, after all, variety is the spice of life and the spice in between the sheets!!!

So, without further ado, this week's position.

I like to call it:

RIDE EM, COWGIRL, DOGGIE STYLE

OK, Cowgirl. Get your man. He's on the bottom. And you're gonna ride him like the stud that he is. Climb on top. Your legs are on either side of his. But the switch is you're facing his toes, not his face.

This way you get all the benefits of deep thrusting doggie style, but you have all the control. (And we like having the control too, right?) And he gets a great view of your tight little butt while he holds onto your hips for dear life. And you can claw into his thighs while you're seeing stars.

Then there's an easy swing-ability to be back face to face if you want to liven things up again!

Two words: Yee Haw!

BONUS: To get yourself in better shape for this postion, check out my article entitled "Sexercise". Click HERE to read it NOW!

BONUS BONUS!: To get yourself in bteer shape in your RELATIONSHIP, do yourself an favor and check out my new favorite relationship advice website, "Catch Him and Keep Him". It's written by my friend Christian and it's great to get a guy's point of view of what's going in their heads. It's like having a spy working for us! Click HERE to read his free newsletter!

There is an exquisite mystery to it. In the puzzle of what makes up a woman's physical attractiveness, it is the most mysterious piece.

While the topography and borders of the face and the breasts are well defined and often talked about, the "booty" thoroughly characterized and sung about, the shapeliness, silkiness and smoothness of legs extolled, and the color, length, and texture of hair ardently praised... yet there is no well understood definition of what makes a truly lovely vagina.

The mystery of it is like a gift that arrives early beneath the Christmas tree with the most exquisite wrapping. The gift that doesn't have a card on it. Who is it from? What might it be? Who is it FOR? It defies guessing, and it only becomes more and more mysterious, more and more desirable. Will it be for me? Is it beautiful?

It becomes an obsession.

I have been obsessed with many vaginas in my day. But more, I have had a life-long obsession with them in general.

Of course, you are nodding, you are a heterosexual male. Being obsessed with pussy is about all you guys ever do.

Perhaps. But if you are a woman, that is all the more reason for you to feel an exquisite rush of pleasure for possessing that tiny treasure.

They say that you can tell how well a child is loved by the number of nicknames that she has. This is certainly true of the vagina, which has, I read somewhere, over 1,000 names, and that does not include the secret names that women and their lovers might have for it between themselves.

Some people think that vagina is too clinical. But I still like the name. It is the first term that I knew as a child when I first became aware that this mystery existed beneath the underpants of every girl that I knew, and so the word still gives me a rush of curiosity and longing.

To my mind, pussy is the best term for common use because it is appropriately associated with feelings of softness, warmth, and sweetness. Pussy is cute, it is playful and mischievous--you want to softy stroke it, tease it, and give it a kiss on the nose.

Twat is best for humor and always makes a great punch line in a joke. It is important to be able to joke around with the objects of our love.

Cunt is a power word. It comes wrapped up in cultural taboo, anger, animal lust, and violent passion. Like a sword that can be used for mayhem or justice, it is a word that can evoke many different emotions. I love it for it's power, for it's ability to polarize, for the way it can offend at one moment and evoke exquisite sexual pleasure in the next.

Snatch, cunny, gash, beaver, hole, cootch, cooter, cunny, bearded clam, and poontang (to make a very partial list) are all simply vulgar to my ears. I never use them.

While terms like box, muff, and "down there" are names that women seem to favor in conversation but that I have never felt any sort of emotional connection with. But, to say the least, these are just general opinions.

When a woman shows you her vagina for the first time, it is a moment of powerful trust and surrender.

An amazing number of women are extremely shy about their pussies, and they are embarrassed by a man's direct gaze upon it. It is a moment of great exposure. It is a part of their own body that they cannot easily see themselves, and often they have no idea how it might compare to others.

And that's one of the great charms of pussy. There are no clear definitions or standards for what makes a pussy beautiful--any more than one can claim more than a personal preference between two varieties of flower.

So when the panties slide off of the hips for the first time, when her legs are parted, and the pussy is revealed, it is a special moment, a moment that can be drawn out and savored and remembered long afterwards... something that should not be rushed through with an embarrassed charging forward to the unspoken but well known goal of the evening.

There is nothing better than discovering a new pussy.

It's often surprising to see whether a woman has shaved, waxed, trimmed, or groomed the area. Some girls are downright creative about it. But that is really the least distinguishing characteristic compared to the variety of shape, size, and color of the vagina itself. And like faces, two very different facial structures can be equally lovely.

And there is much more to the vagina than merely visual appearance. The pussy is an amazing little self-cleaning oven. Assuming the outside has been bathed recently (if I had one, I'm sure I'd spend most of my day doing that), the inside of a healthy pussy is always clean and perfect, and has a scent that is completely unique to each woman.

It is one of the least talked about aspects of compatibility, sexual attraction, and physical matching, but the way your lover smells to you is a very potent part of what makes "chemistry" in a couple.

The scent of the pussy changes throughout the month and an attentive lover knows the season of his woman by her taste as well as by her temperament. But it takes time to know the lunar phases of a new lover because, even the way in which they change is different for every woman.

And it is also the tell-tale sign that cannot be counterfeited if a woman tries to fake her orgasm. The taste and scent of her sex changes after a woman climaxes.

There's a scientific reason about the pH changing to accommodate the male seed or something like that, but just as the scientific reason for a flower to bloom does not explain how we feel when we see the flower, it is just as irrelevant to my appreciation in this case.

Unlike the flower, the beautiful sunset, or the trees reflecting on a still mountain lake, the pussy is more than just another gift to the senses that nature has provided. Because for us heterosexual men, it is also wrapped up in eroticism, desire, forbidden thoughts, adolescent longings, and a thousand other complex emotions of pleasure, pain, and mystery.

You don't frequently hear someone say in public, "I have heard that that woman has the most beautiful pussy."

That is as it should be. Part of the beauty of pussy is her mystery.

But most women will hear those words from her lover. "You have a beautiful pussy." And they will think, sure, he says that to all the woman he has sex with. Probably every man says that, don't they?

When a man gazes upon your pussy, it is not just the two sets of labia and their complex shades and shapes, not just the clitoris hiding beneath its cloak of pink skin--it is more than texture, color, and form. Yes, it is aesthetic beauty, but also it is those worlds of emotion from an entire lifetime and primal instinct of millions of years of evolution, all stirred into a powerful brew of male desire that fills us with pleasure.

Consider that the next time your panties come off. And enjoy the moment as much as we do.

*

I heard about this site and decided to write this article on the advice of my friend, Christian Carter, who is one of the sponsors of this site.

As you may have guessed, I write a regular sex-column on another site (mostly advice for men). And I have spent many years studying the interactions between men and women...

If you are looking to improve the quality of the men that you meet and have more options in terms of which men you want to keep in your life, I strongly recommend that you check out Christian's website and free newletter.

It is the best information that I have ever seen on the subject.

You can find it here: www.catchhimandkeephim.com

I had a boyfriend. We'll call him Markus. Markus was a gorgeous, and I mean yummy hot piece of ass gorgeous model (which should have been my first clue because a lot of the time, really good-looking guys think they can just rest on their looks... more on that later).

Okay, maybe he wasn't the brightest bulb in the batch. But he wasn't the dimmest either. At least it was never proven. But he was sweet. And could sing and liked to surf and pose in next to nothing. Really, a dream come true. Looking at those baby blue eyes, those soft pillowing lips, those chiseled cheekbones, those washboard abs, ah yes, he was purrrrfect.

It was only a matter of time before I got that last article of clothing off of him and got him into bed. That Greek god would soon be worshipping at the temple of me. It's gonna be... over?

Huh?

Um. Okay. Well, it's the first time. He's excited. So I smiled and thought, next time. Next time will be the deal.

Next time rolls around and you would think he would consider the fact that a little pleasure for his lady friend would be in order? Right? No! Straight in! Do no pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.

Now look, I'm all about variety. And a little quickie here and there is always great. And it's not always all about me. But it's got to be a good chunk of the time, HELLO!

Now if you're one of 27% of women that can achieve an orgasm through intercourse alone, my hat's off to you. But for the rest of the female population, not so much. A five-minute wham bam, thank you ma'am may be good for the goose, but the gander's reaching for the plastic with the battery. Yeah, we get by with a little help from our friends. But I digress.

I decided it was time to have a little conversation with Mister Hot and explain to him that for whatever reason, he was unwittingly not showing me the money. And in his defence, he was sincerely apologetic. By all means he would venture downtown, pet the kitty, worship the womb, you get the point.

I thought, now we're talking. Momma's gonna get some lovin' at last. I was a happy girl (cue jaws music). So. There I was. Minding my own business, legs akimbo, waiting for the lovin to start, when out of nowhere - there it was. On top of me, attacking me!

The DEAD TONGUE.

Ladies if you don't know what I'm talking about, you're lucky. If you do know, you've been to therapy or a hypnotist to try and forget it. It's as if a dead jellyfish and a piece of cold wet tire mated and its offspring decided to camp out on your va-jay-jay.

I'm sorry, but I would rather slide down a fifty foot razor, naked than endure a thirty seconds of the dead tongue torture session. Is this what was going on at Gitmo Bay?

Needless to say, I put a stop to that, but fast. I tried to explain to him that he was actually hurting me, not pleasuring me (not in those words, what am I, a monster?). He vowed to try again, after much coaching.

But it wasn't working. I don't know if he had a stroke and it only affected his tongue, or he had just soaked his tongue in ice for two hours, but that man could not get any muscle in that thing to save his life. I know because I almost killed him.

I tried teaching him, begging, pleading with him. Alas, it was not meant to be. So, I let him go instead. I'm a patient girl and I can compromise on a lot. But I will NOT live a life without oral sex.

Of course, of you find yourself having other needs NOT met in a relationship, maybe you need a little relationship advice! Go straight to my friend and mentor, Christian and his website(that's right a dude!) , "Catch Him and Keep Him". He'll help you get into the minds of men and help you figure out how to get what you want! Click HERE to get his free newsletter.